A roller coaster story of our Yayas

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Helloooooooo!

Yes! Ako nga! I'm back! Haha.  I am now on my proper senses hehe.  I've been lost in my blogging world since last year of December because it has been an overwhelming December and January 2015 for me.  Perooooo, saka ko na muna i-kwento 'yan.  Bitinin ko muna kayo. For now, I just like to share to you guys my roller coaster experience on finding and having the right helper/yaya for my kids and for our house.  

Please bear with me. Mahaba haba itong post na ito.  Naexcite ako magkwento kaya dito ako babawi =).

For the past seven years, since Jun and I have been married, we already opt to hire a yaya for our only child then, Gabo.  Even if we live just footsteps away from my parents, we still believe that there must be someone, (of course aside from Nanay) who's task is just to focus on my baby's needs when we are not around, for instance, when we are at work.  

I forgot the the name of our first yaya.  Maybe because hindi naman siya talaga nag tagal sa amin.  As far as I can remember, she just lasted like three months and then boom, she just disappeared literally. Bigla na lang siya hindi bumalik at nagpakita.  Nawala ng parang bula although it's okay with us since there's nothing really special about her aside from she is really a good cook.  But as a mother, hindi mo makita ang sincerity sa kanya pag nagtatrabaho kaya okay na lang din.    Our second yaya is Ate Lanie.  She's old, kaya siguro napagod agad kay Gabo because Gabo was really an active toddler then.  Takbo ng takbo kung saan saan.  Kaya favorite si The Flash eh.  Again, she just also vanished. Nag day-off lang and then ayun hindi nadin nagpakita.  I wonder, why are some people like that? Hindi naman kami masamang tao, and for sure naman we will understand the reason behind if they really want to go. Hindi kasi maganda 'yung nagpapaasa ng tao diba? Makakareceive na lang kami ng message from someone who knows them na hindi na sila makakabalik.  

And then the story goes on.  Two more yayas came na hindi din nagtagal.  'Yung isa pinapauwi na ng asawa.  The other one naman kakapanganak lang, then she got sick.  We agreed na baka its better for her to take a rest muna kasi baka mabinat lang siya.

Then one day, God answered our prayers! Joan came to us and its like winning in a grand lotto!!! She is just 16 years old but oh my she is like wonder-woman! Makikita mo talaga na may malasakit siya sa bata.  Alagang alaga niya si Gabo and Gabo was really close to her. She did not only took care of Gabo but she also managed to do house hold chores at the same time.  She cooks very well, she washes our dishes, and she also iron our clothes.   She's also very friendly. Halos lahat ng kapit bahay namin kilala niya.  Mas marami pa nga siyang kilala sa amin kaysa sakin na 28 years ng nakatira sa lugar namin.  Even if we visit my in-laws house in Quezon City, lahat ng mga helpers dun best friends din niya.  HOWEVER, one night she confessed to us that she is PREGNANT! OMG! Halos mabaliw ako.  We didn't know that she had a boyfriend that time.  I was really angry to her and sumama talaga ang loob ko sa kanya for not being honest to us that time. Kaya lang, wala naman magagawa ang galit diba? What we just do is to talk to her boyfirend na panagutan ang bata, then we let her go back in her home in Mindoro to start her new life with her own family. Nakakaiyak 'yun dahil we really treated her as our family. Naging "ate" na din siya ng mga bata. She lasted 4 years with us.

After Joan left, parang naging smooth sailing na ang dating ng mga sumunod.  Next to Joan is Joy. She is only 17 years old when she came to us.  Most of our yayas came from Mindoro because we have a relative there that helps us to find a good one.  My daughter Yani is sooo close to her.  Medyo malaki na si Gabo kaya minimal assistance na lang ang need niya.  Joy is very soft spoken pero wala ako masabi sa trabaho niya.  Yani is very picky when it comes to eating, but Joy make it a point that she always finishes her food.  On time din siya when it comes to making my kids drink their vitamins, and she also does household chores when she have spare time.  We also had a plan that we will send her to school just like what we did to my husbands helper before.  We believe kasi that everyone is entitled to be educated no matter how hard our life is.  Lalo na sila na mga bata pa lang eh nagtatrabaho na.  They should not be deprived for their right to be educated in a proper school. We always say to them that there is definitely a better life ahead for them.  But then again, a news came to us that she needs to go home because her mother just delivered her twin siblings.  Its so sad because Joy really wanted to go back to school but she doesn't have a choice because her mother is the only person in the house and that she cannot manage it on her own.  She has five siblings plus the newly born twins, so she need to accompany her mother.  Good thing is that, her father promised her that she can continue her study when the twins reached their first birthday.

An unfortunate event comes our way again.  Jelin came into us, again, from Mindoro.  But after just a few hours, take note oras lang ang binilang, she decided to go home back to Mindoro! Can you believe it? Na home sick na daw siya dahil first time lang daw niya sa Manila. Haaaaay! I told her that she should already have prepared and conditioned herself before working.  100% ka na dapat na decided nun dahil hindi biro 'yung mga resources and especially mga emotions na nasasayang.  First of all, hindi siya pinilit at siya mismo ang nag-kusa.  If only we have known that she has this agam-agam, hindi na sana namin siya pinaluwas.

To tell you the truth, we were really stressed out kasi wala na kami makitang katulad nila Joan and Joy.  I was pregnant then, last year, on my final semester, when at some point we couldn't just find anyone na pwede mag yaya for our kids.  I, myself can't personally handle my two kids noon kasi nga kabuwanan ko na and my husband is working kaya gabi na din nakakuwi.  Buti na lang nandyan si Nanay to the rescue kung hindi baka mapaanak ako ng maaga.  To continue in our search for a yaya, our neighbor recommended one for us pero stay out daw.  Since I don't have a choice anymore, sige na lang pumayag nadin ako. Ang usapan is that she must be in the house by 6am until 9pm. Pero ang siste, dumarating ng past 7am and umaalis ng 8pm.  Alam ninyo 'yung parang ikaw pa ang mahihiya pag umalis siya ng past 8pm? Another haaaaay.  The fact na ang bagal pa niyang kumilos as in. Mas mabilis pa ako na nine months na.  To make the long story short, ayun, AGAIN, she did not came back after a day-off.  Partida may advance pa siya ha! Sakit sa ulo talaga.  

The search to find a really dependable, hardworking, and honest yaya continues.  Then someone recommends a helper to my mother in law.  I said, sige go lang, tutal parang nasay na naman tayo na papalit palit ang yaya eh.  Pero deep inside me, I'm still praying that she will really last.  

 Then Anna came mid last year.  Sabi ni Jun, I should not set my expectations too high kasi baka madisappoint nanaman ako.  Ako kasi kapag may dumarating, I always made them feel na kapamilya na talaga namin sila.  I always buy them stuffs like toiletries, personal things, clothes kahit pambahay lang, because I understand that their salary is not that enough para bumili pa ng mga personal things nila.  They would rather give send it to their families than to buy things that considered as wants. Hindi ko sila kahit kailan man itinuring na "katulong".  Walang ganun na level though I made our house rules very clear to them first.  Magkasundo lang kami doon, okay na.  

Anna is very nice.  As in she is very kind.  Madaldal din at pala kwento.  One of the traits na nagustuhan ko sa kanya because gusto ko lagi may kausap at gusto ko naman din malaman siyempre kung ano ang nasa utak ng kasama ko sa bahay.  Gabo and Yani is so close to her.  Even our baby Axxel is so clingy to her.  Imagine taking care of 2 toddlers and one baby while still doing household chores? Ganyan siya ka sipag.  Hindi biro 'yun.  Even Nanay liked her to think that she's very picky when it comes to helpers.  She's also sweet. She always texted us when something in the house is needed, in short very efficient and alert.  Hindi din siya pala cellphone katulad ng iba.  She hugs my children as if her siblings.  Kaya lahat ng 'yun sinuklian namin ng kabaitan sa kanya as an employer.  

Then last Christmas she said if she could have a vacation.  She wanted to spend daw kasi her New Year with her family in Palawan.  I told her sure! Hindi naman siya pala day-off eh and that is also what we can give as a thank you for her hard work to us.  We agreed that she could have her 10 days leave.  Long vacation naman so I think me and Jun can already handle it when she's away.  Nag joke pa ako sa kanya na baka hindi na siya bumalik samin.  She repeatedly say and promised to me na babalik siya. She even left half of her clothes as an assurance that she will really come back to us. Nagustuhan na daw niya kasi samin  dahil mabait naman daw kami sa kanya and of course napamahal na sa kanya ang mga bata.  I told her to text me agad pag nakarating na siya sa kanila for us to know that she is safe. She said yes.

Ten days have past since she left.  No messages, no call, no whatsoever from Anna.  I was so paranoid then na baka may nangyari sa kanya.  Hindi niya sinasagot ang phone niya, hindi nagtetext. Then a message came from her sister saying that Anna will not return anymore, period.  She decided na lang daw not to work anymore and just to stay at home.  I really felt bitter that time! Ang sama nanaman ng loob ko.  I trusted her so much.  Magpapasukan na noon and wala man lang siyang notice na hindi na pala siya babalik.  I just felt so bad kasi feeling ko talagang pinaasa niya lang kami. And I kept on wondering why she would do that? Sana man lang we were alerted because like what I said, hindi naman namin sila pipigilan umalis because we cannot control their lives.  What we just ask is 'yung pasabi man lang so that we cold already find alternatives.  

Wala na kaming mahanap dahil lahat is on Christmas mode/vacation.  Umabsent ako ng one week, looking for a yaya but still napaka hirap.  I don't mind taking care of my kids. Kaya ko. And sino ba naman ang ayaw alagaan ang sarili nilang anak? Just to be with them is like weekends everyday. Ayaw mo ng matapos agad.  But at this point in time and for practical reasons, I also need to work to help my husband provide for our living.  And in all fairness, I do love my work.  I am a government employee working for peace.  Who wouldn't love a job like that?

Anyway, back to our long and winding road on our search for a yaya, a phone call from my brother in law came recommending again, another yaya.  I'm just like, "okay, for the nth time here we go again." This time, we need two helpers na because I wanted the first one to focus on the my children and the other one to do the house chores.  The first yaya (Angie) arrived a day earlier than the second (Cecil).  So far, so good.  They were both nice and they seems to like us naman, the children, and what they are doing.  We again, told them the rules in our house and their both okay with those.  I said to my self that I will not set my expectations high na because it always fails.  However, I will not lose hope and continue to pray that they will both stay longer compared to the ones that we had before.  We told Angie that we are very much willing to send her to school this coming school year and we saw in her eyes that she's very much willing to accept it.  She wanted IT daw as a course that is why we allowed her to explore different applications/softwares using our laptop provided that the children are already in school.  That is her free time to study.  As to Ate Cecil, we told her that we are not limiting her day-off because we understand that she also have obligations to her family, provided that she should inform us earlier.  They were both masipag and I like that they were both laughing with us as if we are one family.

Whew! I think hindi naman siguro nalalayo ang mga experiences natin with regards to our helpers. Marami diyan ang pala advance, marami diyan ang matakaw, marami diyan ang hindi na bumabalik when on day-off but I am also pretty sure that there are lots of them who are very dedicated, passionate, and sincere in their work, those that are honest enough to be trusted by their employers, those who treated their "alaga" as their own child/bother/sister, those who have compassion in everything that they do.  That is why we as employers, needs to provide what is due and right to them, for instance, enough salary, day-offs, bonuses, food, etc.

 Oshasha, nobela na ito.  I hope someone could also share their experience with their helpers.  Lessons learned, do's and dont's, etc., okidoks!

 =)












About Mastermom Speaks

Hi! I'm Ma. Celin Mendoza but Celin will do. I'm a peace worker, youngest daughter, entrepreneur, contented wife, devoted and meticulous mom of 3 June's and a DIY addict!!! This blog will be your ultimate partner in crime when the going gets tough =) Want to do something interesting together? Shoot me an email to: macelinmendoza@gmail.com

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Hello, I'm Celin!

Hi! I'm Ma. Celin Mendoza but Celin will do. I'm a peace worker, youngest daughter, entrepreneur, contented wife, devoted and meticulous mom of 3 June's and a DIY addict!!! This blog will be your ultimate partner in crime when the going gets tough =) Want to do something interesting together? Shoot me an email to: macelinmendoza@gmail.com

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